So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
