And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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