there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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