he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I supernannyed him into submission
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
