so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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