guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize