he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
