Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
