Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
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