I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize