Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
