Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
smell my finger.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
