O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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