tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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