He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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