I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I have fence marks all over my body
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
