What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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