I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
How external is "for external use only"?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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