Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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