dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
