i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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