I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
