I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
A+ Viking dick
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
