so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Randomize
