stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I need a hoe opinion
go on
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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