And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize