I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize