she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
