what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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