shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
