I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
