I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
