I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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