I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
that is very illegal...i love you.
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