Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
