She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
