I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
