I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize