so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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