i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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