I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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