I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
