I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I seem to have left my pride at pride
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
