she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
