East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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