he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
