i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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