I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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