i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
