I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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