im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
