I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
