NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
