is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
