I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
