He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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