the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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