u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
