I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
