I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
