my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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