I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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