I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
