in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
