haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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