thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so let's talk penis.
Everything about him screamed your future.
my shit smells like andre
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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