never play flip cup with pint glasses
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize