I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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