Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
