Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
