Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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