So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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