Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
