Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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