When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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