I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize