I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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