I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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