Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
